I’m in the South of France

Pajamas and Fish-Tail Braids.

it’s DAY 2 of what i’m referring to as ‘the relax-cation’. it’s not a stay-cation, because it’s only 3 days long, and technically i’m still doing things. but they’re simple things, or things that i enjoy. such as updating my blog. and hey, i’m sorry– or am i?— about not updating it sooner. you purchase new eye makeup remover, face wash, and a basket full of other beauty products your eye couldn’t help but notice from the drug store, and you’d be amazed at how much time you lose in a bathroom. i’ve been in there practicing fish-tail braids, and decorating my eyes with a new fancy mascara. still, i need to make time for my new passion, my blog. my pledge to myself is to chronicle my journey a minimum of three times a week. it will challenge me to break out of my comfort zone every few days.

Starting the Braids

but for now, my comfort zone is exactly where i want to be. after working almost every day for the past two months– you know i’m starting to realize that every time i tell someone how much i’ve been working, the length of time gets longer and longer; the fish was THIS BIG!– i am finally on a little break from the cafe. i’m not on a schedule! so how ironic is it that i scheduled a dentist appointment for myself at 8:30am on monday. this was dentist visit #12 since discovering that i had an infection in my jaw. i’ve really come to enjoy seeing my young iranian dental student at nyu twice a month, but i wasn’t too thrilled when he called to remind me of our appointment. i’ve never been late, never missed a painful session, and the one time i was planning to cancel he called to gently remind me that he’d be waiting for me on the 3rd floor on the FIRST DAY of my relax-cation. i did the responsible thing and kept the appointment, and thus still haven’t had a proper ‘sleep in’. tomorrow is that day. i’m purposely going to bed late tonight in an effort to wake up after 10am. i want to be refreshed, and i want to eat my breakfast after the today show has already gone off. so what is that, kathy lee and hoda? i’ll take it.

in the past week i’ve gone to the edge with pampering myself. the Word says that when we stay focused on God, living and breathing Him, we will constantly be refreshed. this country mouse turned city girl still holds firm to the roots of my faith, and i stay encouraged and positive by daily visiting my bright pink Bible. and this city girl turned woman…has an esthetician. you combine the two, and i don’t see how you can come out anything other than hydrated and glowing. just the spa experience alone makes me feel a little calmer, like a tree planted by rivers of water. i know that i need to reign in my spending as much as possible at this time, but i will be moving onto a nail appointment. alright, nail appointment is a bit dramatic. it’s more like walking down to fulton street, and paying an absurdly low price. some people like to shop for clothes, others waste their money on bars at night. i just like to pay someone to touch me and fix whatever’s gone haywire every so often. my dentist is banking on it.

when i was a child– thinking and speaking like a child– i lived for weekends with my dad, especially the ones when he’d take me down to my cousin fallon’s house. she always played music videos and had cool cd’s, and she’s the person who introduced me to lil’ kim by way of the rap group junior mafia. at some point, i knew all of the words to ‘crush on you’, and never in my wildest, southern-rebel dreams did i think i would grow up to live acros the street from nino brown! no, not the fictitious character played by wesley snipes in ‘new jack city’…nino brown from junior mafia! i cross atlantic avenue every morning, and every morning he’s either coming or going from the main street. it’s clear that my joyful perkiness annoys him– “Why you always look so damn happy?!”– but we’re totally friends now. i rode with him into the city today, and i love the way he’s begun to soften around me. he doesn’t try to act a certain way, he just is a guy who grew up rapping in the streets of brooklyn. but ever since we first spoke on the stoop of his brownstone, he’s had a lot more to say. i know this guy isn’t going to stop smoking weed and join me for a weekend Church service right away, but he will. eventually. when i speak to him, i remind him of his greatness, not the ordinary life that he wakes up to now. i ask him questions about his gifts, his talent with words. behind those eyes is an intelligent man that probably thought his best days died with biggie. but they didn’t. Abba will work through me to encourage him. i am beyond excited to get to know him. and y’know, maybe work on my free-style skills too. perhaps tomorrow he will take me for a ride on that motorcycle.

that is, IF i was planning on getting up early. i’m not. must rest. must relax and soak up brandon, that quiet devastatingly handsome man that supports me, and listens to me. for him, i will work. work to keep him happy and soothed and confident that everything we have been praying and waiting for will indeed work out. he is, and always has been, my personal private tropical island. i am on vacation when he holds me. i’ll be back thursday.

The Eyes of the Man Behind the Camera.


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