You know what I can’t stand? It’s when people, parents actually, let you talk to their kid and you politely ask the kid his/her name, and the parent just lets you stand there trying to figure out what the kid is saying for way too long. I love children, ok? Love them! But it is beyond me why parents like to pretend that their toddler can actually be understood. “What?”, I say with a smile. Garble garble garble. The parent just looks at me like there’s something wrong with me because I can’t figure out what that means. You see your kid only has two teeth and is still wearing diapers, so do me a favor and help me out and tell me her name is Maddie, ok?
Fine. FINE. I’ll admit it. I’m a little cranky pants. I’m craving a Little Debbie brownie, and I I can’t believe it’s almost time to go to bed when I feel like I haven’t accomplished anything productive today. Where is Monica wth one of her vitamin cocktails when I need it? The last time she doped me up with cranberry juice, echinacea, bilberry, and gingko I felt like I could run the Brooklyn Bridge.
I will settle for an Emergen-C, and a good night’s rest.