To Me, Not For Me

Things are falling apart. Things are out of my control, and I want them IN my control.

I want to live my best life now.

Just. Like. Oprah.

***

There is a story in the Bible that hasn’t meant anything to me until now.

Jesus is there, in this story, with His disciples. They encounter a blind man and I have to assume that Jesus saw him, but it was His disciples who were the first to make comments. A blind man living at that time was surely unkempt. Unbecoming. Unwanted. They take it all in.

And so they ask: “Whose fault is it that this man is blind? Is it his mother’s or father’s? Is he blind because of sin, because of something bad that he has done?”

The man doesn’t even have a name in this story. He is just ‘the blind man’. He is only known by his downfall, until the hero of this story steps in.

That would be Jesus. And Jesus says: “You are asking the wrong question. You are looking for someone to blame. There is no such cause-effect here. Look instead for what God can do.”

Following this, Jesus heals the blind man and the man-who-now-has-sight worships God. The man-who-now-has-sight goes throughout the town doing more of the same, glorifying God and making known the miracle that has taken place in his life to each and every one.

You see, the man was not at fault, nor was he under invisible punishment. The man is blind because his blindness will eventually highlight God’s miraculous power. His disability will demonstrate the magnificent ability of God; His power to save and correct and make whole.

***

I can’t fathom asking Jesus who is to blame for a man being born blind, but don’t we always suspect and form opinions when trouble surrounds our neighbors? Doesn’t the phrase “Why me?” echo in your spirit when the thing you wanted isn’t yours to have? We’re human. We want to understand why things are happening. We need answers damnit. Now.

This time, I recognize that I am not owed answers. I recognize that I am only here to witness—and to witness to you in real-time. I would love to know why a month that began with so much promise has failed to follow my perfect plan. I would love to understand why my security blanket made of family and finances has holes in it. Why I have to find a new job. Why I haven’t gotten pregnant.

I would love to know WHY…and finally, I think I do.

This is happening to me, but this is not happening for me.

This is for the glory of God.

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One thought on “To Me, Not For Me

  1. Jasmine,

    Hi friend. It is so good to read another post from you. This is a strong and true word directly from God. Thank you for using your talent to glorify Him. It spoke directly to me, and brought wonderful, cleansing conviction to my spirit. I am praying for you! “Cast all your cares on Him, because He cares for you.”

    Much Love and in Him, Chrissy

    Christina Burroughs Sent from my iPhone

    >

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